Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think weed is turning my hair brown
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
