i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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