So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
