office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
