after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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