i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
