6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
