i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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