my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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