New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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