he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
