you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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