last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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