My liver just broke up with me...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
