speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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