How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
