talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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