can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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