Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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