watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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