i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
