she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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