so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
