Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
