she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
