you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am mentally ready for anal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
