I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
