We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
