i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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