I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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