Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
