You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
