Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
