he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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