I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
