tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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