Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
ok first of all what the fuck
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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