I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
