If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
