i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
