I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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