So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
