So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
