So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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