My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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