Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
