covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't think brook has ever known best
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
