Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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