My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
