i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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